Buff Bagwell Was A No-show, But Marty Jannetty Was A Show Stopper!

The first Time I saw Marty Jannetty wrestle live was in a tiny little auction barn turned temporary arena, halfway between Chipley and Panama City on a windy, rainy Saturday afternoon. The ring arrived late, about half the crowd had gone home and the remaining fans were restless and bored from everything that had gone wrong that afternoon.

When the very late and very lost ring arrived from Mobile, fans stepped out of the audience to serve as ring slingers. Many people pitched in to kick that show into gear, and the most cheerful of them all was the star of the show, Marty Jannetty.

Everything that could go wrong went wrong that evening. There were still antiques left over from a previous auction. The building made Mossy Head look like a dirigible hanger. Other than Black Sheep Danny Roland, I couldn't for love or money tell you who else wrestled that night.

But Marty was there - and he lit up that dreary, musty, roof-leaking little shack with the dignity and demeanor of a professional wrestler, a true professional.

True, his WWE days were behind him. True, some of his demons had a grip on him. But even near his worst, Marty was at his best. He greeted me pleasantly - no, enthusiastically. My table was between the dressing room entrance and the ring. He made me feel like his part of the show was just for me.

I know, I know. That's his job, right? Wrong. His job is to show up and wrestle, to win or lose against the local heel. I get that. But what I also got was that he just purely, absolutely loved it that he was wrestling.

That's why they call me a mark, mmmkay? I am a mark for Marty Jannetty and he's earned every ounce of energy I have expended being his fan.

Fast forward to SWA, Crestview, Florida, may 25th 2009. Buff Bagwell is on the card, slated to go against Mr. Fantasy. I've seen these two go at it like lumberjacks dating the same lumberjill. They are awesome to watch and a draw for me every time. Sure, Buff's a little sold on Buff, but hey, that's his character.

Thing is, Buff was a no-show.

Rumor has it that he accepted an extra grand on a doublebook and kicked Crestview to the curb. Ah, well no Buff. The crowd booed a little at the announcement but it was half-hearted, like it was expected or it was no big deal. Then came the announcement that Marty Jannetty would be taking Buff's place. Now that may be worded wrong because Marty and Buff are different wrestlers entirely, and I may no be being fair.

Whichever, the crowd went floor stomping nuts for Marty and in an instant, Bicep Buff, strutting his stuff faded into the air like so much fog in the sun.

Suddenly, there came Marty, out among the 330+ fans, all eager to reach out and touch him. No kid went unhugged. No mom went unappreciated. For ten minutes or better, the whole of the Crestview Armory from soldiers to babies were unabashed Marty fans.

The match was classic Fantasy VS anybody. Marty jazzed it up though in a way Buff wouldn't have. Marty felt more like a Crestview Boy come-home from the WWE. He was every guy who ever dreamed about casting off the bonds of Wassau and flying to Chicago to take on the Undertaker. He wrestled flawlessly, but at the same time wrestled for each and every fan individually.

Marty knows Erick and Linda, apparently from shows long ago, well before my time. He greeted them after the event, during picture time, as though he'd just seen them last week. For Erick, who ended up with a signed Marty Tee shirt, and a posed picture, it was perfection come to visit.

Thing is, he remembered me, even though we had only chatted once or twice before he began his long absence from the Gulf Coast. He remembered me.

Of course, it is possible that he remembered the really big guy from that tiny little show in the auction barn, but I choose to believe that he remembered me for me. Call it suspension of disbelief, if you want to.

Because he remembered me, because I am his fan, and just because, I am going to plug the web site where his video is being sold. It is HERE Click on it.

Now you have a chance to see Marty Jannetty in person at the Chipley National Guard Armory this Friday, May 1st, along with Bullet Bob, Steve, The Nightmare, Wahoo McDaniel Jr, the really big and very jovial Mountain Man, Mr. Fantasy, Chris Tighe, Milo, Terry Ryker, DJ Pringle, The Magnificent Pedro, Dirty Larry Brock and Ryan Holland, plus many others, in a rip-roaring ceiling rattling hum-dinger of a "3rd Annual Chief Wahoo McDaniel Memorial Cup Tournament.

I know. It's a long ride from Pensacola, Mobile, Milton and all kinds of other places to get to Chipley. But this show is worth the effort and the gas. Marty Jannetty is worth the effort and the gas.

To tell you the truth, Ryker, Milo and Chris Tighe are worth the trip as are all others in this cast of true stars. These are the working wrestlers of today, of our area. Their gold and glory comes from fans like us in crowds 300 strong, cheering or booing our brains out.

They are Ryan Holland, at the start of the road, Mountain Man on the top of the hill, DJ Pringle, dodging the Devil at the Crossroad. . .

Or Marty Jannetty, who's been there and done that and shares himself with the least of us, to help keep wrestling going, where ever it might be.

I will see you there.

The Legacy Of Doink The Clown - The Secret Pride Of The Alabama Wrestling Federation

Doink The Clown loves wrestling. He just doesn't always love Wrestling fans. At least that's the impression one might get when listening to one of his monologues when he is standing in the ring with a microphone in his hand. But then a heel wrestler is, after all, supposed to be "heelish," is that not so?

I guess my idea about clowns of any sort run to the funny, occasionally magical, slapstick and rubber nose variety. I know some people for whom clowns are the stuff of nightmares, who would cringe at the sight and sound of Doink just on the general principle of him being a clown, never mind the additional aspect of him being a wrestling clown. It is a matter of preference, this is for certain. And the Alabama Wrestling Federation's Doink certainly does not slack in perpetuating the myth that clowns are from Hell.

That is the beauty of ugliness though. This is not, nor was it ever intended to be your warm and fuzzy huggable clown. Hug this clown and you are likely to not be hugging anyone for a while if you happen to be a wrestler.

So how does one get to be Doink the Clown?

He has to love wrestling more than he loves being loved. He must be a professional pro wrestler, not a partially committed up and comer. He has to be able to whip an insult like a mule skinner whips jackasses on the salt road. He has to know who he is and be proud of that in the face of dislike or dispopularity.

He has to be prepared to babyface without batting an eye when a hard bitten bad guy like Wade Garrett shows up. He may be wrestling General Payne one day and Buff Bagwell the next, so versitility is a must.

If you know who is behind the green hair and mask of AWF's Doink The Clown, then you know a little of the dedication to successful wrestling shows that individual has in his heart. And if you do not know, don't worry about it. Just kick back and enjoy what ever comes your way.

The Alabama Wrestling Federation recently had a show in Loxley, Alabama, at which the above photo was taken by action photographer Lil' Bub, as he is known. If you see him, tell him thanks for the pictures. he works that hard and is that good.

If you have an opportunity, catch an AWF Mobile show whereever it might be near you. Check the Alabama Wrestling Federation Web Site for time and place, and be sure you save a cheer for Steve From Chicago, one of my favorites, and a "Booo" for Doink The Clown, but when you do the latter, save a little appreciation for a veteran of 10 years of hard fought battles in clawing his way to the top of the Gulf Coast Of Alabama ladder.

And just between you and me... get there a little early because there's always a big crowd.

The Decline And Demise Of Dan Delicious - The Rise and Aggression Of Mike Thrash

It was Dan Delicious who put Curtis Leroy in that dress. And it was Dan Delicious who doggone near knocked him out of it on the 25th of April at Crestview's Annual SWA pro wrestling spectacular. The photo on the right, shot by talented action photographer Brian Reese, shows the intensity with which Dan laid into Curtis, who opened the match with a disrespectful little love tap of his own on the controversial Pink Warrior's right cheek.

This was the "Hair VS Dress" match that everyone had been waiting for. Curtis Leroy had been placed into the dress more than a year ago by Dan in a "loser must wear a dress" match and poor Curtis was forced to wrestle in "Granny's mumu" ever since.

An opportunity for rematch presented itself in Crestview when Delicious put up his most prized possession, his San Francisco Pony Tail, to lure Leroy out of seclusion. For Leroy, it was a chance to rid himself of the hated dress and regain his dignity and masculinity.

The odds were stacked against Delicious though, as forces conspired to rob him of his beloved locks. Outside interference assisted Curtis Leroy. In a flash, Dan lay unconscious on the mat. Then, a mysterious stranger entered the ring with a huge pair of scissors and the ravaging of Dan's tresses began.

A second Brian Reese photo shows the anguish Dan was feeling as he said goodbye to his hair. It must have been a lot like this when Delilah robbed Samson of his power laden locks. The pain was unbearable as the audience suffered along with Dan Delicious' ordeal.

Curtis Leroy is a free man now. Nevermore will he have to face an opponent wearing a mumu. But Whither Dan Delicious? Is the friendly, funny, gregarious and gay Dan doomed now to a dark, angry and sinister half-life as Mike Thrash?

And Who is Mike Thrash anyhow? Is he the closet straight guy who has haunted The San Francisco Warrior, Delicious, for years, peeking through the skipping, prancing veneer of capriciousness and exploding like a crouching tiger, hidden dragon on wrestlers who dare hit too hard?

Will we perhaps see Dan Delicious occasionally still, as gay and straight play tug of war inside this popular wrestler?

Guess we'll find out soon enough, as Mike Thrash emerges from the shell that was happy go lucky Dan Delicious.

In A World Filled With Villians Any Hero Is King

Turbo Ted is an icon of Panhandle Independent Wrestling. Shown here with life long wrestling fan, Erick Turner, Ted has a rich and colorful history that stretches far back into the days of West Florida Wrestling and Promoter Bobby Wilson. He may go back farther than that, but that is only how far back "I" go, so no slight intended.

Ted is a hero to multitudes of wrestling fans, myself included. He ranks high on my list of favorites, if for no better reason than his work is exacting and precise and a pleasure to watch.

Many wrestlers avoid Ted or protest when they are matched against him, complaining that he is "stiff," which is another way of saying that he wrestles more in the "old school" style where physical contact was expected and one needed to be able to absorb actual impact when his opponent back him up against the ropes.

It is being said that Turbo Ted is "old." The implication of having been branded as such is that Ted is "weak" or "ineffectual." That's a trap - and young wrestlers who become ensnared in the idea that "older" means "weaker" are due for some of the most severe awakenings of their pediatric careers.

Ultimate Wrestling brought Turbo Ted back from parts unknown for a reason and that was to show all its many 'puppies" how an old dog barks. Age is no barrier to toughness or expertise.

Look at Doctor X, whose wrestling prowess frightens the water out of skinny young wrestling newbies. His ability to drop an opponent to the floor in 1oths of a SECOND gives that wrestler no opportunity for defense. It's a "go along or break a bone" kinda thing. Doc X has served our country in many capacities in real life and is as physically fit as one could possibly ask for in a wrestler of maturity. You learn a thing or two in the land of IED's and suicide bombers.

Then there is Bullet Bob Armstrong. No more beloved wrestler exists on the Gulf Coast in my opinion. His more than 45 years in wrestling gives him an edge over every challenger that no one can overcome without cheating egregiously.

In a world filled with villains, any hero is King.

The Rebirth Of Dirty South Professional Wrestling and Other Tales

With the departure of Tiny Tiswell from DSPW comes a new chapter in the peaks and valleys life of the Dirty South Professional Wrestling family. Gone also is referee turned wrestler Archie Brooks and the rough and rowdy tag team of The Redneck Mafia, whose "beer-in-hand-at-ringside" demeanor proved a little over the top for some wrestling fans.

Scheduled to return to the DSPW squared circle at the Pensacola "Rebirth" event, are Gothic Warrior and Mystress. Warrior is a technician and a methodical destroyer of opponents who are unfortunate enough to be booked against him. The lovely Mystress is enough of a ringside distraction that any red-blooded wrestler might lose concentration long enough to suffer being ambushed and pinned 1-2-3.

Fan favorite, Johnny Rebel is a tried and true southern dynamo, quick to slam, kick, supplex or pin anyone who cares to challenge him. Unfortunately, DSPW has accumulated some pretty unpropitious heel wrestlers, so the boy has his work cut out for him.

Speaking of maleficence, The Minister, Zack Johnson is looking to take over DSPW's top spot by any means necessary or possible. No telling what he will resort to to attain this lofty goal.

DJ Pringle needs no introduction other than to remind fans of his new nickname, "Tater Chip." And don't forget to bring those Pringles cans to hold up and remind the wrestler of his deep fried heritage.

Street Bandit and Short Bandit return, as well as Damon Black and The Regulators, about whom I know nothing much at this time.

DSPW has declared itself "Born Again." As a part of that revamping process, the content of the show has become more "Family Friendly."

According to Owner/Promoter Mickey Godwin, "We are going to work hard to strike a balance between good old fashioned Southern-style pro wrestling and what fans are used to seeing in our area."

"Bad language, blood, hardcore violence," said Mickey, "will be downplayed in favor of story and character - particularly character development which we see as particularly important."

Scheduled into the Knights Of Columbus Hall at Jackson and Palafox Streets in Downtown Pensacola on May 2nd, DSPW faces a severe challenge running as they are on the same day and in the same general area as Ultimate, with its powerhouse cast of characters and loyal fan base. Still, for those who want something a little different, or just want to support an underdog, the DSPW show might be just the ticket.

I have been personally been lobbying for onions on DSPW Hot Dogs. Ultimate Hot Dogs and hamburgers both come equipped with generous condiments, so I suspect that DSPW will want to compete in that arena as well.

Come to Pensacola on May 2nd and try DSPW. The turnaround is remarkable. The potential for coolness is there. And there's charisma points to be had for supporting the little guy.

Addendum to Previous Message Oriented Board Rant

All of the negative material directed toward me has been erased from the Alabama Wrestling Federation Message Board, (speculatively) due to Leigh-Anne and Dwayne not wanting extremes of crud on their board. I have not spoken with either of them so removal of all posts of a negative nature will have been removed unilaterally.

Sorry Dwayne and Leigh-Anne.

Every so often I do answer them when they get stoned or start licking toads or whatever it is that sets them off.

Tired of Life And Wrestling Crybabies

The following Blog entry is rated "R"

Parental discretion is advised.

So I came home Saturday night from Ultimate Wrestling's Milton show at the Santa Rosa County Auditorium, all fired up about the fact that someone finally had returned to the SRCA and broke the barriers set by the Santa Rosa County Attorney for insurance. I had a great time. I saw many friends I had not seen in almost two years because some Milton Fans are homebodies and don't travel the highways like Linda, Erick and I do.

Naturally, I wrote about my experience. It is what I do, after all. I translate my feelings and experiences into words which I share with the maybe 10 people who read this blog to actually see what I might have to say, and the 20 more who read this blog with every intention of twisting every word into lies and innuendo and smear and sewer s**t. More on those gutterslime later.

My blog entry centered on the morphing of pink, skipping Dan Delicious into Mike Thrash, angry man. And it complimented the Ultimate Wrestling Team, wrestlers, ring crew, cafe, management and support staff for handing me a really great wrestling evening.

I did not mention that I was behind my table for a large part of the show, by invitation of Ultimate Management. I did not dwell on how great Ironclaw looked and how awesome it is to have him back with his peers, whole and healthy, nor what an intense match the Dog River Boys, Flexx and Rocket VS The Ultimate Legends was. I just laid out an overall picture of a good time for me and my family. It's personal when I go to a wrestling show. I like wrestling and wrestling people.

But there is one facet of wrestling in our area that I don't much enjoy at all - Message Board Trolls.

The conversation on my board inevitably turned to ICON Wrestling and the lackluster attendance figures attributed to them by one poster and three phone callers, each of whom gave me the same figure, 27.

I am not a fan of judging wrestling by the number of fans in the seat. One of the best wrestling performances I have ever witnessed took place with fewer than 20 fans in the house. A show - and I said so - should be judged by quality of matches, overall ambiance and (jokingly) snack bar quality along with the presence of onions for hot dogs.

Further comment ensued and a debate followed. I mentioned that having a business plan would be a swell idea for ICON:

A: who have been trying to run in Milton in a different building than the SRCA

B: who ran on the same night as Ultimate's debut, Ultimate being a seasoned promotion with many shows in its pocket, as opposed to ICON with one low attendance show chalked up prior to the night of discussion, that being the depth of their time together.

c: who offered no visible indication of who would be wrestling, where, or at what time of day, though I am told there was a poster, I never saw it.

There was more, but the gist of it was that a good business plan is a great idea for every promotion to maximize profit, as offered by SMV (Seasoned Mat Veteran) who most everyone has told me is actually, former PWA (and other places) wrestler Steve Cheetum, a fit fellow whom I never saw disappoint in a match.

To that point, the conversation was amicable.

Then things started getting ugly on the Alabama Wrestling Federation message board. Then they started getting really ugly and finally so obscene and twisted that I just had enough and deleted the link, for one reason, that the content massively violated Terms of Service, and for another reason, I had just had enough of pigs, pig s**t and ignorant anonymous grade school dropouts in general.

I love Leigh Anne and Dwayne to death, but this haven for wrestling crybabies, n'er do wells, pretenders and losers and their lies and their cyber terrorist tactics and their posts pretending to be people they aren't is just too much. I don't need the irritation, the distraction of the bulls**t.

The Alabama Wrestling Federation is a jewel in Mobile's crown, but the denizens of that message board are the pus inside an ass pimple and the fact that they are allowed top display that filth drags an otherwise top notch promotion down.

So I popped the pimple. Now the pus is running around complaining and whining and spewing sewage, while my friends are taking care of the real wrestling business of promoting great shows which, if one DID judge by attendance or any other standard, are as close to a perfect business model as one could get.

So why do I care about pus? Or the opinions of pus? Or the mewling and self aggrandizement of pus?

Truth is, I don't.

This is far more attention than they deserve.

People influenced by the writings of pus, deserve all the pus they can get.

It's just the nature of blogging. Oozing, seeping unscabbed wounds on wrestling such as the "people" who have been posting lies about me affect me, despite my friends' urging that i be the "better man" and let it slide.

I think I shall not let it slide.

I think I will click on the "publish" button and let the bastards know that I read their festering droolings and maybe they will get some sick sexual pleasure out of having pissed me off. Then again, they are pus, so who cares about them?

I dropped the ban button on SMV for the disrespect he showed me today. You were wrong "Brandon" it wasn't "too easy" for me to ban you. I thought about it for a whole 30 seconds.

Have fun on the AWF board with all the pusies (that's pronounced pus-eze as in persons who are pus). Take some antibiotic with you.

You're gonna need it.

Mike Thrash - No More Rainbows, Just Mayhem

No more Dan Delicious.

In a solemn ceremony, the bright pink tights that signified that Dan Delicious was in the ring and ready to humiliate all comers were placed in a trash bag after having been shredded. No longer will we be able to see cringing opponents and referees run away in horror at being inappropriately touched by the Man From San Francisco. Since being inducted into "The Fold" by the controversial "Former Sinner" Nick Virtue, Dan has been questioning his orientation, which had previously leaned precociously in the direction of hot pink and ribbons, but which now steers toward muted colors, a testosteronic attitude of hyper-aggression and mayhem.

In these days of gender confusion, there was never any confusion about Dan Delicious. Gay and proud, Dan rubbed his victims' face in the reality of the fact that for him as a wrestler, it wasn't about "pink," it was about domination in the ring. Once the shenanigans were over, Dan could overpower virtually anyone by sheer talent and strength. I saw him wrestle in Mossy Head against towering and vicious opponents who literally craved his blood. Dan just tore them up. He was a symbol of the "can do" spirit, capable of overcoming impossible odds, surviving death defying matches while never losing himself to mean-spiritedness.

Now introducing Mike Thrash. He's all wrestler, all man, all business, all at peace inside himself, he said in a pre-match promo. He proved this point by taking apart his former tag team partner from PWA days, Tyrone Holley, who came out to the ring in traditional pink, accompanied by a young man of unknown origin, who served as his valet (right).

Tyrone is one of our area's most versatile wrestlers, equally capable of dishing out uproarious comedy or deadly force, preferring the former, with such characters as Achy Breaky Kid, and Tyrone The Terrible, a lovably flamboyant heel character who is impossible to boo.

Together, Tyrone and Dan Delicious made up Culture Club, a tag team that stood against a tsunami of "straight" conventional wrestlers, some of whom took homophobia to an extreme, and some who were just nonplussed by such "in your face" outness that they could barely keep from cracking up.

During the April 18th Ultimate show, a very nice elderly Christian Lady came up to me and asked, referring to Tyrone's pinkness, "Does there really have to be all this gayness?" She was in genuine distress because she had her granddaughter with her.

"It's just wrong," she said unhappily, "just wrong." Then, she wandered back to her seat in time to see Mike Thrash, in a fit of reformist fury, dismantle poor Tyrone so thoroughly that we in the audience began to believe that we were going to have a hot pink cadaver on our hands. That seemed to satisfy the lady who undoubtedly went home happy that Dan was cured of his gayness and that Tyrone had been sufficiently punished for his sins.

Ultimate Wrestling scored like Michael Jorden on a good night at April 18th's Milton Massacre. The crowd topped two hundred, straining the SRCA under the load of so many happy wrestling fans. The Ultimate Cafe staff worked so hard to bring great food to the fans that they ended up popping circuit breakers. Onions for both hot dogs and hamburgers were both plentiful and fresh. I do so like that.

Some of my personal favorites wrestled and one of my all time favorites did not. Marcel Pringle stayed in the background, preferring to let the Dog River Boys shine on their own - which they did in spades. Rocket and Flexx took the Ultimate Legends to school in a flurry of youthful attempted assassination so intense, they could have been arrested for assault with intent to win. As it was, they did win, but the semi-main event in which they labored was, alas, a non-title bout.

Turbo Ted came out on a shiny chrome walker, a sure indication of his geriacity, but sported a sign saying "it's a rib" letting the audience in on the joke he was about to unleash on his opponent.

I am sure there will be better, more accurate descriptions of what happened in these and other matches online on the message boards, so suffice it to say that Ultimate's debut in Milton did much more than just squash ICON Wrestling's attempt to run head to head in the same town, same night. The show and its newly upgraded "production value" offered a taste of that elusive flavor of the "bigs" that is so much sought after, and seldom achieved.

From the freshness of the popcorn to the smile on Lady Devine behind her very own table, to Thrash's snarl, to Erick's piercing cry of "Barrrby Doll," it all felt like coming home again to PWA and OSW and XW-2000 shows of yesteryear, when stars performed, children laughed and played and Turbo Ted wandered through the post match crowd making sure everybody had had a good time.

Welcome to peerdom with greatness, Ultimate.

DSPW - Never Say Die

Dirty South Pro Wrestling, about which I have written many a word, is in the process of reorganizing its schedule and portions of its roster. Tiny Tiswell has moved off in his own direction, bid farewell by fans who enjoyed his particular style of sports entertainment. Gone also are The Redneck Mafia, Steve and Beau, whose rowdy roughneck ways proved that sometimes bigger things await he who conquers all, wins the belt and then moves on.

Returning is DJ Pringle, popular (or is it unpopular) heel wrestler who has carved out a path of toppled champions from Pensacola all the way east to Florala, Alabama and beyond. DJ is the son of Percy Pringle, controversial legendary manager of champions coast to coast, but he is a fine wrestling technician all on his own and needs no boost to help him along.

Continuing to dominate is Gothica, Gothic Warrior attended to by Mystress. Street Bandit and his partner Short Bandit are DSPW favorites. The Regulators, whom I don't recall ever seeing before, are scheduled to be there, and although Evergreen McQueen isn't "on the card," I would like to believe he will be there. Minister Zack Johnson stirs things up quite a bit with his unusual demeanor.

I hear great things about Johnny Rebel, compliments from wrestlers and fans alike. Possibly Kage will return. He is one of my favorites.

This new, improved DSPW is looking to put hard times behind them and wants everyone to know that if they attend a DSPW show, staff and talent will pull out all the stops to give them the best time possible.

Now if I can just get some onions in the snack bar . . .

Ultimate Wrestling Will Make History At The SRCA with MILTON MASSACRE

Ultimate Wrestling, based in Pensacola, FL, will be making its Milton, Florida debut at the Santa Rosa County Auditorium on April 18, 2009. The SRCA has been the site of countless wrestling events over the many years of its existence and is considered by most promoters to be the "Holy Grail" of venues.

More importantly, after an almost two year wrestling drought in Santa Rosa County, Ultimate will be the first to rain drop kicks, supplexes, arm bars and body slams on fans that have literally been starved of their favorite entertainment.

There have been many attempts to establish a wrestling franchise at the SRCA. Some have failed spectacularly, like the show organized a few years ago by Wendell Cooley that drew less than 30 people over a Christmas Holiday. Some have rocked the roof, like PWA's 400 tickets sold barn burner that many people talk about still as being the best overall show seen in that building in the last 15 years.

Many others have had well attended shows; XW-2000, for example, Old School, who maintained consistent quality for a very long time, only to be train-wrecked over insurance issues. High Impact offered spectacle beyond imagination, once "planknapping" Kornbred's little friend and pretending to cut him up with a chain saw so as to shake the concentration of the Gentle Giant. And let's not forget WXW, and Afa, The Wild Samoan, who brought to town some incredible production values.

Very big shoes for Ultimate to fill, nes pas?

I believe they are up to the task. Click on the poster above right and study the line-up for what they are describing as "3 solid hours of Wrestling Fun" OK, I admit, I added the "of wrestling fun" but hey, I call 'em like I see 'em, and I can't see that any grass will be growing on this show.

Especially anticipated by me personally will be Rikki (The Rocket) Roberts, managed by Marcel Pringle, one of my oldest favorite wrestlers from this area. Rikki is this year's Greater Gulf Coast Reunion Horizon Award winner and fans in Milton will be enjoying this outstanding wrestler as a part of an overall well-planned event.

I have been honored with an invitation to attend Ultimate's inaugural show in Milton and bring my "table" with me. I have laid in a supply of both baseball and cowboy hats, as well as dragons and other stuff Milton fans like. Additionally, I have wrestling T shirts, as well.

I hope to see you all in Milton. Bring a can of food for the food bank and get a discount on your ticket.

From A trailer Park Near You . . . White Trash!

The first time I encountered this tag-team, White Trash," I was not so impressed. I did a snap shot review on the message board that went like this:

". . .I got a look at "White Trash" a new tag team with a familiar back-yard theme of being "from a trailer park near you." They were ineffective in their pre-match mike work, due to an extreme echo factor in the venue and their actual wrestling skills were typical of young newcomers. . . ."
Well, truth is, their mike work was rendered useless due to inaudibility - by me, remembering that I am deaf as a post and small speakers and echoing walls do not help.

"... One thing to note on the "White Trash" tag team - both kids wore boots and were braced properly, so I would have to chalk up the jeans-T shirt gimmick up to looking "white trashy" which is a legit use of the costume. In retrospect, I "get" what the large chrome wrench was for, but what was up with the toy horsey?"

Well, what was "up" with the "toy horsey" was a rib on Cowboy Buddy Love, their opponent and the "enemy of the hour."
Sometimes when I think I "get it," I actually don't get it at all.
Lastly, I said, "Look for 'White Trash' to improve on a steep curve as they learn more and more from different opponents. Having already mastered 'Facial Expression 101' it seems like a good idea to next work on wrestling moves and body language."

Well, I got it all wrong on several levels.

The photograph above tells half the tale. The other half came from revisiting White Trash at another SPW show, and lo, what a difference!

". . . I have been doing this for 9 years and my partner has been doing this for 17 years . . . " That is what the younger of the two partners wrote in rebuttal to bandwagon critics who ran with my review.

So they are not rookies. My bad. Anybody can have an off night. That was the reason for the second look. Sure enough, in a 3-way tag team, against skilled opponents, including Punk Nation the veterans, Doctor X and Medic, team White Trash wrestled like stars, on the ground, in the air, on the floor, and true to their nature, cheated like Alabama Moonshiners on Tax Day to get their win.

Said a Punk Nation spokesman, ". . . the only reason you beat us last night is your friend hit my brother with is wrench and y'all stole the win so as soon as my brother gets his head back on straight after you two cheated to keep the titles we will be coming for those titles and for your blood because now it is personal. . ."

Commented Medic, "... and stole my whole bag of marshmallows and ate them all. . ."

Second time is the charm for these trailer park based champions. They hold the belt and all the cards, as well as a pretty good 14" ratchet handle.
I commented afterward more or less privately, that these guys "didn't seem like a good fit to local ( read that as Pensacola) story lines, but I was wrong about that as well. White trash VS The Invasion, VS The Redneck Mafia or VS Milo and Frost would in any case be a barn burner.

I hope that any and all promoters give WT a look-see for possible future matches, but I suggest that you lock your pickup trucks and hide your women, and for God's sake, don't let them near Kory Jackson.

They cheat.

If The World Could Be Like Woody

Woody is always happy
and always on the move
whether monster cars or wrestling
he never looses his groove

Woody always has a cheerful greeting
for anyone he meets
always handy with a good word
He always sits in the best seats

Woody makes pro wrestling better
though he's never taken a bump
he's always cheering or booing
when others sit there like a lump

If the world could be like Woody
armies wouldn't have to fight
they all would go to wrestling shows
to figure out who's right

Now Woody's 27
his birthday was yesterday.
And I hope this year makes him happy
there's not much more to say

We'll see Woody in Milton
Maybe Pensacola too
Happy wrestling Birthday Woody
Many happy returns to you

"The Book" - A work of love

One of the most fun projects of mine in recent years was this little book about I did about independent pro wrestling in our Gulf Coast area. Not exactly a hot topic for the New York Times best seller list, I published it myself using an online service based in Memphis Tennessee. I did the Typesetting, graphic design, photography (shared with "Lil Bub," "Bspidey," and Erick Turner ) and with the exception of a copied and transcribed Wickipedia piece on wrestling vocabulary, I wrote all the prose and poetry in the book.

I printed 100 of them in the first run and sold them at shows to recoup my printing and production cost investment. Two were destroyed by angry or misguided wrestlers, one of whom objected to the vocabulary piece and the other who thought it would be a "cool work" to rip it apart in front of an audience, ala "phone book" style.

Many were given to friends. A few were sold to fans. The project broke even on cost, which will allow me to do another one soon.

So that's another "me," author, publisher, and faux expert on things Gulf Coast Wrestling. You know what they say. "If you can't have fun, have beer and pretty soon you'll be having fun anyhow." I think Stone Cold Steve Fury said that.

Stuck Inside The Box - The Name Game

When the wrestler known as "Vortex first appeared at Ultimate Wrestling as "Nick Virtue" a smiling, Bible-toting preacher character, most fans didn't know whether to spit, chew bubble gum or buy a rabbit's foot. The transition was nothing short of shocking.

Previously, Brother Virtue had been known as "Vortex" or in some quarters, "Nick Vortex." He was the sole survivor of the premier tag team "The Backyard Boyz," along with partner and longtime friend "Iceberg."

These two youngsters lived the backyard dream during the days of PWA. They were "discovered" by Black Sheep Danny Roland when they auditioned for him in a backyard arena at the home of Nick's parents.

Back in the day (and even more so now), to be pinned with the label "backyarder" constituted the worse epithet that could be imposed on a young aspiring pro wrestler. To have come from the back yard epitomized "the wrong stuff" and literally, no self-respecting locker room would suffer any such person as that beyond its doors.

No one was more anti-back yard than Bobby Doll, head of the PWA. Upon hearing about Iceberg and Vortex for the first time from an enthusiastic Danny Roland, Bobby put his foot down so hard that the floor shook. So adamant was he about the subject that it would have ended right there and we would never have seen any of the incredible matches that followed over the years featuring the wrestlers in question.

Danny Roland is nothing if not persuasive. He kept after his friend and tag team partner for weeks until Bobby finally relented and offered Iceberg and Vortex a tryout at the PWA arena on a student training day.

Bobby saw the same spark of future genius that Danny had seen. Tenacity and endurance are two very important character traits a wrestler needs to be true to his calling. Courage and a high tolerance for pain certainly does not hurt. Training began in earnest for the new, unnamed tag team and to call that transition time brutal would be to understate its intensity.

Some wrestling schools of today are there for the bucks. The quality of training consists of showing a prospect some moves and cashing the check. Often, an ill-prepared wrestler is thrown into the mix long before he is ready. That wrestler then becomes a danger to himself and his peers.

The PWA school training was just the opposite. PWA trainers did everything in their power to encourage wrestler-wannabees to quit and go home. Punishing exercises designed to employ every muscle in the body were employed in order to prepare new wrestlers for the ordeals ahead as they faced real opponents and real audiences.

The training tactics that allowed PWA to produce so many well-prepared wrestlers then are being employed now by Ultimate Wrestling to enrich our performing community with qualified talent. But that's another story.

The debut of The Backyard Boyz hit the PWA like a summer thunder boomer. They became instant rivals to New Era, the previously adored babyface tag team suddenly turned heel. Success followed success. Autographs were written, hands were shaken and lady fans were hugged. Somewhere on the back end of PWA's progressive down-slide after Club Carousel, Iceberg slipped away and The Backyard Boyz' Vortex simply became Vortex as PWA alumni gradually began to disperse over the landscape of indy employers on the panhandle.

That journeyman route eventually led to Ultimate Wrestling. After DSPW dismissed Jerry Reiner from service as booker in Brewton, Vortex, like so many other bright talents drifted into the Ultimate locker room. Good thing too, because many of those who made PWA great had assembled there and the atmosphere seemed almost perfect for a PWA revival with an Ultimate twist.

Diana and Dion have been vilified endlessly over the past two years for their "mistakes" but truth be told, there were not nearly as many missed steps as we smarks and speculators might suppose, plus many of those were simply rookie errors made by folks in a high intensity new promotion pressure cooker. Understandably - some might even say inevitably, since all new promotions face endless speed bumps.

Now here's where it all gets a little foggy, because I had no advance notice at all that my much admired friend, Vortex, would suddenly swap in his trademark long hair and hockey jersey for a suit, a tie and a Bible. I was as startled as anyone when Brother Virtue emerged from the cocoon of Backyard Boy tradition. But there he was, completely reborn, as though some metamorphic wand had passed over him, changing him forever.

Fan reaction was immediate and vociferous. Some were outraged that UW would mock religion, being unmindful perhaps of wrestling's longstanding history of sending up more American icons than South Park (remember Brother Love). Others were completely fascinated. Brother Virtue did for me what other wrestlers often fail to do - get my mind off the table and get my glasses on so I could better see the action.

It has been a while since I have seen Brother Virtue "save" someone. Were he to take to the road, I am sure that the reaction would be profound. I haven't returned to UW in quite a while for the simple reason that there is no room for my table in the American Legion Hall in Pensacola, due to the consistent crowd overflow that comes with a successful promotion.

That all may change with Ultimate's expansion into Milton, FL at the SRCA, where there is plenty of room for vendors and the 300 plus audiences I expect to see. Milton audiences have always been raucous avid wrestling fans and will turn out in droves to supplement Pensacola fans who "can't get enough Ultimate."

What's in a name?

Before Mr. Electricity, Jerry Reiner there was "The Lightning Kidd." Before Nick Virtue was Vortex. Before Carlos DeAngelo was Jester McCain. Is it possible to "rebrand" a wrestler working the Indies? The answer is not only yeah, but in some cases, hell yeah.

Gimmicks (which is to say wrestling personae) sometimes run their course and must be either renewed. Would Percy Pringle have been a good fit for The Undertaker? Certainly Paul Bearer fit the bill more precisely creating a second Legendary avatar for veteran manager Bill Moody.

DSPW features former XW-2000 wrestler and TV star BAD as Beau Fury, a beer swilling tag team partner to Steve Fury - together they are known as The Redneck Mafia.

The Sin City Saints, Scotty and Billy Rayz have undergone many name changes, Scotty having once been Bombzaloco.

Tiny Tiswell used to be known as Tiswell the Giant. Alright, I totally fabricated that for cheap laughs.

Point is, that wrestlers who don't think outside the box in terms of their gimmick are doomed to degenerate into staleness unless they can imprint their personality so completely onto a character (as Steve From Chicago and rainbow Warrior have done) that change is both imposible and unnecessary.

We, the audience are able to row with the flow, so to speak, accepting a new mask on Bullet Bob, an add-on tag, such as "Son of Old School" in the case of Cowboy Billy. We smarks are able to recognize that some changes are impossible without a mask - who could Marcel Pringle ever be but himself? For that matter, who could DJ Pringle be besides a Pringle, or "tater chip" as Erick has blessed him to be.

When a gimmick grows stale or outdated a wrestler needs to be prepared to move in a new direction. So also should a promotion never be content to present the same old matches and time-worn feuds.

It is never to late to break out of the box and do what Brother Virtue did, literally be reborn into a fresh and shining new version of one's self. Only then will bookings or ticket sales soar.

Percy Pringle's Blog Is A Good Read and Other Tales

Cowboy Buddy Love (pictured right) is an example of "new generation" wrestling. Last night at SPW in Geneva Alabama, he and others in the Southern Pro Wrestling troupe, joined the much loved Armstrongs and a slimmer, trimmer, Doctor X in a slam and bump-fest that rocked a crowd of more than 125 rain-weary folks.


In other Gulf Coast Wrestling news, Percy Pringle is not "lost" nor does he need to be "found" by the WWE. Percy's blog and common knowledge both assert that Percy would have been invited to Wrestlemania if there had been more notice.

Percy's real-life alter/ego is immersed in the Funeral Business, and death takes no holiday for convenience or wrestling.

It would seem that reliability is another reason for saying something nice about Bill Moody. How would you like to have your funeral director in Houston at a wrestling event instead of attending to your hour of grief. Well, of course, the man has his priorities straight and that is a positive thing.

No, Hell hasn't frozen over for me saying nice things about Percy Pringle. I recently saw a gulf coast reunion sign that mentioned "burying old grudges." Though I am not an official part of the reunion, no harm can come from adopting that particular idea.

With that in mind, I made a list of "Top Ten Reasons To LIKE Percy Pringle" just to see if I could do it and posted it on the message board. Most people doubt my sincerity, given my history of anger and dissidence, but hey, I am trying to get an handle on my childish emotions, so give me a little time.

Meanwhile, give Percy's blog a daily read. He is articulate and knowledgable (if a bit opinionated as to what hell I will go to for "screwing up wrestling." Still, give him a read as I said. It should be worth while.

Death Row - Menace To Society or Really Keen Wrestling Character

If one were to judge just by the photograph alone, this former occupant of Alabama's famous "Dead Man Walking" cell block in the infamous prison outside Monroeville would be Public Enemy # 1. The maniacal eyes, the disheveled hair and beard, the aggressive stance, the orange jump suit, the narrow "Green Mile" style cell block all combine to say, "Death Row."

And well they should, because this is indeed a portrait of Death Row in more ways than one.

To truly get a feeling for Death Row, one must reach far back into memory, when PWA's lovable "other" prisoner on the lam was Kornbred, that 6'8" misunderstood giant who defended his sidekick Plank with all the strength and endurance he could muster. It was originally speculated that Kornbred's former cell mate in that dread and dreary Alabama penitentiary was in fact, the irascible and non-talking Plank, but that is nae true, boyo. In truth and not without consequences, Kornbred's cell mate was Death Row and I'm tellin' you, boss, he showed up at the PWA with all the menace and power of a Mississippi spring tornado, with the intent to turn Kornbred and Plank "Every Which Way But Loose."

Where the tall and powerfully strong Kornbred was a pillar of resistance in those first matches, Death Row was something akin to a Tasmanian devil on speed. He knocked and kicked and hit the ropes like Russian sailor trying to escape submarine duty in the 80's. He pounded ever vulnerable spot over and over until the giant farmer was nearly spent. But always, Kornbred would come back for more. It was truly the irresistible force meets the immovable object, where chairs and trash cans are no help.

Superman has kryptonite, and Kornbred has Plank. Suddenly losing sight of his wooden faced little buddy, was Kornbred's Achilles Heel. "Planknapping" the sidekick unnerved Kornbred so much that Death Row, the smaller of the two combatants, could pick up the advantage and the win. Death Row wreaked his revenge on his former cellmate and then began looking for other wrestlers to beat half to death.

After a while, Death Row worked out some of his issues and settled down to a wrestling career where he stopped getting disqualified for maiming referees. He has made several appearances in AWF (Chipley), and a successful run at Ultimate. He even wrestled Dan Delicious once, which he said afterward reminded him of the Alabama Chain Gang on a Saturday night.

Death Row is one of the many Gulf Coast Wrestling super-personalities who have stood the test of time. Next time you see him on a card somewhere near you, take the time to go see him. If his opponent survives, it will be a great show, because any booker bringing in Death Row with be smarter than the average booker.

But then, we aren't supposed to talk about "bookers" now are we?