Christmas Blues or Why Am I A Wrestling Fan Anyhow?

Definition: Smark - (noun) a phrase coined by Internet wrestling fans to describe a fan who enjoys pro wrestling despite or because they know that it is staged, as well as generally knowing the "ins-and-outs" of the (or "a") company and knowing many things about the industry or wrestlers collected by sources and are posted online. "Smarks" are generally looked down on by wrestlers as well as other wrestling fans for supposed inability to suspend their disbelief. Smarks may also be criticized for believing they know more than they do in reality about the workings of the wrestling industry.

Wikipedia - list of popular wrestling terms

I guess that's me.

I certainly have knowledge of some of the inner workings of professional wrestling on our local level, as well as a speaking acquaintance with more than a few wrestlers who labor in the sparse vineyards that are the working promotions entertaining fans from Tallahassee to New Orleans. I know the difference between a lazy and an all-out performance by a wrestler simply by watching and I can pretty much tell who has been trained to several degrees of separation to a "real" wrestler, and who has been legitimately brought along using more traditional methods under the supervision of seasoned professionals at or above the rank of "Journeyman."

I used this knowledge to write a book - "The Absolute Beginner's guide To Gulf Coast Wrestling" and sold copies of it at local wrestling shows. Though less than stellar in its performance, the book sold out all copies except for the two that were ripped to pieces by disgruntled wrestlers, one of which was flung in my face.

"Smarks are looked down upon by wrestlers," says the Wiki. Most wrestlers who know me though, know I was simply trying to "put over" local area wrestling with that effort.

Professional wrestling seems to me to be the only performance art in the entertainment world where the artist may feel free to disrespect the patron (person who pays to see them perform) outside the context of the show. This year of 2009, I have seen more juvenile behavior from "professional" wrestlers than at any other time since I have been following the sport. It is as though select people have been trying to redefine "pro wrestler" to be a synonym for "immature, self centered egomaniac with delusions of grandeur."

I hope this effort to denigrate wrestling fails.

I remember Cameron Frost in XW-2000 years ago, coming out to the ring with the energy and enthusiasm of an atomic explosion. His work - the actual execution of a match against an opponent - was close to flawless, even then, some five or more years ago and now - as recently as last week, when he won the Ultimate Wrestling Heavyweight Championship, he seems to have grown impressively in skill, execution and presentation.

Mr. Frost is one on a long list of wrestlers whom I admire as not only professionals, but also as persons. Pretty much every one on that list knows who he or she is. Many of them do or have done things for charity that uplift the whole Gulf Coast area experience for those less fortunate. Others simply conduct themselves in a manner that bespeaks their style, their class, and their status as persons worthy of praise, respect or fandom.

Babyface or "good guy" wrestlers have it easy. All they have to do is look good, act friendly, kiss a few babies, hug a granny or three and stomp a mudhole all over the bad guy. Establishing a babyface identity is more difficult than simply being set against heels in matches. "Goodguydom" is a state of mind that requires being friends with everyone, like 'em or not. Pulling that off is not so easy to some, and a piece of cake to others.

Polynesian Prince, of All Pro Wrestling, comes off as a consummate babyface. He's personable. He's humble. He's from the islands. What's not to love? Truth is, in the short time I have known him, I have grown to respect him - for the talent he has shown so far and the awesome potential he has for the future. Should he ever turn heel, I will boo him louder than anyone. But he still will be a great guy, well worth a word of encouragement when no one is listening but him.

Smark's privilege - to be a fan of a wrestler for his ability to entertain, not just because his story calls for him to be popular.

I have preferences and prejudices where wrestling is concerned.

I intensely dislike "hardcore" matches. Bang a guy on the head once out of sheer heeldom, fine.

The "banger" is a heel and the "bangee" is a victim. I get it. Spend twenty minutes knocking down chairs in the audience, terrorizing little kids and their grannies while throwing trashcans at one another and you lose me. I see it as pointless, and an egregious violation of the trust we fans place in wrestlers "not to cross the line."

Seriously - pay ten bucks to see hooligans whack each other in the head with pie pans? That is so last decade.

Hardcore matches seem more like "Jim Jones kool-aide" than wrestling gospel to me and I find them boring and predictable. Other fans disagree vehemently with that opinion, which may or may not be a minority one. For me, though, if I know there's going to be hard core, I generally don't show up, where my counterparts might drive 50 miles to see one.

I know too many heels.

Death Row scares me to death in the ring. I totally believe he is homicidal when he is wrestling and I feel bad for anyone who enters the ring against him because they are just gonna die.

Bobby Doll and Uncle Jim cheat incessantly.

Brian Cage is an insufferable egomaniac.

Lord Humongous is big and bad.

Chris Tighe is . . . indefinable but a world class heel anyhow (as of the last time I saw him).

These entertainers are successful in their portrayal of "the bad guy."

Not one of them has ever given me grief on a message board or outside an arena.

Why am I a wrestling fan?

Good question.

Wrestling done right and wrestlers doing right entertain me. It is as entertaining to me as the sci-fi books I read or the movies I go to see. I expect a degree of excellence and I afford wrestlers a degree of celebrity in my eyes.

Someone told me recently that my being involved in pro wrestling (presumably as a fan because I do not wrestle) "makes me a target."

This seeming truism has been illustrated by behavior coming from the recently disenfranchised GAWF and its odd-duck spokesperson Steve Goins. And apparently unsatisfied with simple Christmas wishes, an incredibly lame display of assholeism coming from Brandon Blevins formerly known as Steve Cheetum, a ho-hum "retired" wrestler of limited imagination, bitter feelings toward wrestling and a house trailer vocabulary complete with 4th grade spelling.

What is sad is the shadow these and other "message board heels" cast on legitimate wrestlers and their legitimate on-line work.

I think it's getting close to time for real pro wrestlers in our area to start weeding out the fools. Bookers can do this by simply not booking wrestlers who don't have their act together - whether or not they work for free.

Promoters can instruct bookers that undesirable wrestlers be not booked.
Let's put "professional" and "wrestler" back together to form a proper noun that means something.

Who should decide who gets blackballed for poor behavior?
Wrestlers should.

Fans already do by avoiding shows featuring wrestlers they do not like.
Message board moderators make their own rules. Deleting messages that are sophomoric or stupid is just part of the job. Fans should avoid message boards they do not like and support boards that they do.

In my opinion, everyone should support the Gulf Coast Wrestling Reunion. Even if you're not allowed to attend (it's for workers and not fans).

Lastly, why am I a wrestling fan, considering what people put me through?

I'll have to get back to you on that one. I am still thinking it through.

The Grinch That Stole Wrestling

T'was the week before Christmas and throughout Gulf Coast Wrestling
It seemed like about everybody was fighting and hassling
Throughout all of Online there arose such a clamor
that promoters seemed ready to draw down on a rumor!

Petty fights over venues and personal name calling
spun wide across message boards scratching and clawing
Shoot posts from green wrestlers and videos tasteless
and wild accusations both useless and baseless

With different non wrestlers throwing gasoline on the pyre
It looked like pro wrestling would be consumed in fire.
Everyone it seems wants to get in some blows
and they tell me , "Yeah, there'll be peace when it snows.

It's the Grinch that stole wrestling rearing his ugly head
sowing hatred and discontent, wanting wrestling to be dead
and promoters are all buying into his ugly plan
being selfish and boorish again and again.

But there's hope - yes there's hope for our wrestling scene
if only folks would just stop being so mean
and looked to the season's unselfish clime
and just thought of families and fans for a time.

No sniping or snipping or smarmy revelations
no deep cutting words or angry proclamations
no lables or gossip or idle mud slinging
Kill the Grinch who stole wrestling and the hate he is bringing

And maybe, just maybe we all can agree
that our sport is entertainment for the whole family
So let prosperity for all promotions come forth
and lead to indy wrestling peace on the earth.

GAWF Rides Again or Another Video Slaps The Face

Not surprisingly, GAWF got its panties in a bunch over yesterday's comments about decertification.

Goins even posted yet another video about it.

So far, the GAWF booker has posted more videos about me than he has posted promos about GAWF. Nice to know I am so loved.

It's 9 in the morning here in Pensacola, and I pretty much didn't feel like dealing with another long, rambling video about how fat I am, or how I wheeze when I walk, or that I use a wheelchair to cover distances when I am away from the house. Physical imperfection seems to be an obsession where this wrestler is concerned, but hey, if all the perfect people in the world support GAWF, then their attendence will go up (by one or two or so).

Anyhow, I deleted Goins video without watching it. What do I care if this mope doesn't like me?

At least he reads my blog, and apparantly, my message board as well, it would seem.Hmm. Maybe he's MY fan.

Truthfully, I don't think Goins or Skipperman really understands the rules of this game.

You see, as a fan, I get to focus on any wrestler that attracts my attention. I can praise any babyface, the former Short Bandit, now known as Pitt Bull, for example; or Scarface Waylon Barley. I can boo any heel, make life miserible for Bobby Doll by photoshopping an image of him in his new gorgeous ring robe to suggest that he is now King of Vampires. I can complain that Brutal Joe Gibson is too brutal, or that Brian Cage is haughty. I can be so excited about The Invasion winning the Ultimate Tag Team Belts that I nearly blew a battery in my wheelchair.

That's what being a fan is all about. Responding to "the work" is a fan's job.

Wrestling companies routinely control their outgoing PR content. "Come to GAWF," a promo might read or say, "because the feud between Goins and so and so is heating up and there's going to be a hard beatdown this weekend in Hosford!"

As a fan, that's what I want to hear. "Wrestler A VS Wrestler B was a killer match right up until the time that Goins hit B with a chair shot in a cheap Pearl Harbor attack."

Wrestling; you know what I mean?

I have never claimed to be anything but a wrestling fan with a web site and an opinion. Not in all the years I have been associated with wrestling on the Gulf Coast. For some reason though, the GAWF seems obsessed with stating the obvious.

A clue, guys. I am a wrestling fan. Not a fan of GAWF's amateur hour videos, for sure, but a wrestling fan.

It happens also, that I am a fan with a web site. Go figure.

I display the latest posters from area promotions. I host a variety of message boards. I write a blog. I attend shows on the invitation of a given promoter and with permission (by the rules of the promotion) I set up a table that sells this and that. I am friends with virtually every promoter on this part of the coast and would do just about anything for a friend, including creating posters when needed or printing flyers or whatever my skills can provide that someone needs.

That's what fans and friends do.

I have said before, but it bears reiteration, I have been invited to GAWF on several occasions. It's just too bloody far! It's 176 miles, including some of the darkest, roughest back roads rural Panhandle Florida has to offer. I am 62 years old. Gimmie a break with the driving! Chipley or Dothan is just about my limit and even that's pretty dang far!

It wasn't personal that I turned down GAWF's invitation. And it sure as heck wasn't because, as Skipperman said in his video, " he wouldn't let me set up a table." It's simple economics. 1.5 tanks of gas @ 20 gallons per tank VS a night of wrestling in a remote place where I know very few of the wrestlers. Do the math. It doesn't compute for me in Pensaola.

Panama City, maybe . . .

And so it goes . . .

It's now 10:48 AM. Another voice has entered the conversation.

Baddlnbill- Bill Weaver asks a pertinent question on the GAWF message board. He says, "Does all these BS videos and posts add one more seat filled at a GAWF show?"

The short answer is, "Nope."

Bill's post is the most intelligent thing that has appeared on the GAWF message board since the original Goins video dropped the "F" bomb.

Mister Weaver continues, "Thats my question. Have I pissed anybody off? I have no clue. Dont really care."

He hasn't pissed anybody off. He shouldn't care. He is a wrestler with promos to cut and wrestlers to wrestle, belts to win. He is focused. I admire that.

He says, " I have been in and around this Business for over 15 years. I have promoted shows for over 5 years of that time. My job then and my job now is to put butts every 18 inches in the GAWF Hosford Arena."

See? Focus. I will drive to see him wrestle if he gets a little closer so I can afford the gas.

"Most everyone that comes to the GAWF arena has no clue who any of these people are."

Well, they know Goins but could care less about me. I'm not a wrestler. No need for 'em to do.

"I have a hard enough time getting them to know me and what story I am trying to sell. Lets get to the business of filling up the GAWF Arena."

The voice of common sense, Baddlnbill- Bill Weaver advocates wrestling and selling tickets and going forward with the business of wrestling. No BS - just straightforward cut the crap, guys.

I like the message. It doesn't say, Bob, you're an idiot, or Goins, you should not drop "F" bombs or do yellow promos, both of which are truisms. he simply says, enough of play time. Let's get back to business.

Great idea.

Bill wraps up by saying, "If i am missing something and someone can tell me how this BS is filling seats i want to know. The story i am trying to sell is the Brawl for it All, No DQ, No Countout, Falls count anywhere on the property. Thats what happens this "next show" at the GAWF Arena this Saturday Night December 12th. Baddln Bill Weaver vs Curt "The Hustler" Nichols"

You know, I am tempted to drive the 176 miles just to see this honest man take apart his opponent piece by piece.

Now that's wrestling.

The Departure of GAWF and The Changing Face of Professional Wrestling On The Gulf Coast

Fans looking for the GAWF (Great American Wrestling Federation) on Gulf Coast Wrestling Online will be disappointed to find the link gone. Depending on who you talk to, the reason ranges from vengance for some unspecified transgression, to megalomania on my part in which I want to "control wrestling on the Gulf Coast."

It's ridiculous, but absolutely somebody's opinion in the offices at GAWF.

The reason behind GAWF's decertification as a member of the Gulf Coast Wrestling Online family is much more mundane and far less melodramatic than that. Simply put, their message board had fallen of the edge. Message boards in general are only as family friendly as their moderators. Over the years, Skip Skipperman has alternated between keeping his message board clean and obscenity free and being a scratch pad for the lunatic fringe of wrestling to scribble pretty much anything they want to. In order to remain linked to GCWO, one's message board must be as close to family friendly as possible given that it's wrestling. Failure to do so is grounds for disconnection by agreement.

So along comes Goins.

Now Goins is the GAWF Booker. This means he is responsible for acquiring and utilizing talent (read as wrestlers) who come to Hosford to work. He is the go to guy to get "booked" or awarded a spot to wrestle. In other words, second to Skipperman, the promoter/owner, Goins is the voice of the promotion.

Goins decided to make a video putting down SPW (Southern Pro Wrestling) and SXW, both out of Dothan, Alabama. Well, that really didn't qualify as any of my business except for the "F" bomb in the video. Now "F" bombs in plain english, spoken by the #2 honcho of a "family friendly promotion on a "family friendly" message board is a breech of both protocol and, I might add, common sense.

So I waited to see when it would be removed and when it wasn't, I issued a warning.

I also commented, as I have been known to do, about the poor taste and unprofessional demeanor of both the video and Goins.

What I got in return were two more videos, each more tasteless than the previous one, along with a personal attack (video) aimed squarely at me, my disabilities and my credibility as having "never gone anywhere or done anything for wrestling."

People who know me know I have logged more than 40,000 miles and more than 2000 hours in behalf of Gulf Coast Independent wrestling in the last 14 years. What I know about public behavior of pro wrestlers comes from constant contact with the sport and its people.

In the same way you don't have to be a pilot to lobby for change in the airline industry, you don't have to have laced up boots to have a sense of what's right for wrestling.

It is my opinion that public hooliganism outside the form and structure of "work" is an abomination and should be chastised when it gets out of hand. The fact that any moron with a video camera can become a "YOUtube" promo producer simply cheapens the product. Adding the "F" word and its derivatives to "yellow promos" does not help. All it does is to confirm to the non-wrestling public that pro wrestling at the Indy level is shotgunned with punks, hooligans, and stupid people.

That said, the GAWF owes an apology to its fans and a removal of objectionable material from its message board. Only then will the promotion be reconsidered as a GCWO associate.

My guess is that Hell will freeze over before that happens, because Skipperman made a video of his own, denigrating me and several promotions in our area using lies and half-truth as his weapon of choice. As far as I am concerned, his bed is made.

Being as how Hosford, FL is two cornfields past the far end of the cornfield, 176 miles from my front door, I'm not feeling much loss, anyhow. Don't look for a GAWF expansion anytime soon either, because they have neither pot nor window.

Wrestlers looking to wrestle there, consider the distance from your base, amount you are being paid and the locker room climate. Then do what you think is best for you.

Fans, the same. Is GAWF worth driving a very dark road back into the toolies? You will know when you check it out whether the promotion is right for you.

We haven't seen much action out of ALL PRO since they vacated their Pensacola building a couple of weeks ago. But they are scheduled for a roaring comeback at the Brewton, Alabama National Guard Armory on Friday, Dec 11th.

I know what you're thinking - isn't that where Johnny Angel's DSPW works?

Yep.

Tiny's move is a part of a sea change around here, where pro wrestling promotions are concerned. Everybody is "on the move" so to speak; repeated attempts to broaden their fan base are thought to result from going "to a new town."

Well, APW's move to Brewton can hardly help but improve their bottom line, because they are not attached to a town right now at all.

DSPW's expansion into Castleberry, Alabama, which had in the past been served by SPW, has been good for the organization. DSPW hasn't abandoned Brewton. For now they will be sharing the Alabama National Guard Armory there, running on (we hope) different nights.

The former Terry Ryker, now Waylon Barley and associates, moved New Heights Wrestling from Florala, Alabama to Defuniak Springs, traditionally where Southern Pro offers monthly shows. NHW acquired the Boys and Girls Club of Defuniak Springs as their venue, located less than 3000 yards from SPW's Walton County Fairgrounds front door.

That set off a little tension, but strangely, more so between NHW and Culture Shock, out of Mossy Head, during a fund raiser being offered by the latter. Defuniak Springs is not so large a place, but nonetheless, the two promotions are battling it out, with SPW offering $1 tickets the weekend of DEC 12th, and NHW offering a talented lineup that is tantalizingly tempting.

That Milo is quite the whiz kid.

Meanwhile, DSPW has announced a Florala show on Jan 2nd, and is confident of at least 6 more, thus completing a triangle of promotions in, around and near Mossy Head, where CSW labors before a dedicated audience who will seldom accept anything less.

2010 will be interesting.

Rumors are flying that 3 different promotions are taking a hard look at Hosford and that area, to see if battling GAWF for supremacy in the plowed rows is economically feasible. My advice is don't bother. GAWF fans have stuck with Skipperman through thick and thin and changes of booker and misadventures in Georgia and Tallahassee. I doubt they would be intrigued with an unfamiliar show coming into town.

Rumors also have ICON wrestling coming to Pensacola at the Fairgrounds, an attempt to do battle against Ultimate's dominance of the port city scene. Tex Galento is rumored to be looking at "high value former WWE stars to supplement an all-star cast such as he has worked with before. If that means the return of CzR, then surely fans will get a workout.

Come to think of it, CzR VS Goins might be a benchmark match.

With Ultimate running two shows a month in key venues (Pensacola and Milton), nothing seems likely to unseat them. Truth is they have earned their fan following with solid personalities, good matches and an ongoing Grade A concession stand. I gain 3 pounds at every show.

Inhibitions have been set aside between promotions.

Yellow promos have tainted the waters and caused some fans (me for one) to question why the hobby of wrestling fandom is even viable anymore. Why bother taking to the road and driving 5o miles to see a show at all?

That kind of fan thinking will fragment the fragile grip that Indy wrestling in our area has on profitability. We could end up a dead zone very easily if promoters don't pay attention to not only their own image, but the image of Gulf Coast pro wrestling as a whole.

Denigrate one, denigrate all.

Let's all pull together for the health of the sport. There are tickets to be sold, and if somebody is selling them in a town YOU work, just work harder. You don't win a contest by being dumber than your opponent.

Don't be like GAWF and throw out the baby with the bath just for cheap heat and quick cyber bully laughs. The loss is yours and ours as well.

Yellow Promos

YOUtube has made video publishing so simple that a caveman can do it. Consequently, every idiot with a video camera and an adolescent sense of humor is out there publishing wrestling promos about how "great" his own promotion is while denegrating other wrestling promotions by saying "they suck" or some equally childish crudity.

I call these backyard videos "Yellow Promos" in honor of the yellow bellied cowards sho "shoot" them.

They are all pretty nearly identical. Some yahoo sits on a dimly lit set or perhaps in a car, while driving, and goes off on who or what he thinks is bad for wrestling. The audio is almost always crappy. Production value ranges somewhere between bad porn and muslim beer commercials and always - always the poor viewer has to slog through 6 to 8 minutes of stuttering to get to the point, which always is that there is no point.

Yellow promos make wrestling look stupid.

Yellow promos make wrestling promoters look stupid.

Yellow promos make wrestlers look stupid.

Yellow promos make fans feel stupid after they have wasted 8 minutes of their lives watching them.

Promotions who need to bash other promotions in order to aggrandize themselves are in every way undeserving of a single dollar from an honest wrestling fan.

Promoters should concentrate their energy on promoting the virtues of their own shows.

Promotions as a team should be prepared to outperform other promotions - overwhelm them with excellence, not lay down false promises of being "better than so and so" only to just be crappy.

Yellow promos hurt everyone and should be banned.

In Pensacola, We Knew Umaga As A Home Town Wrestler Made Good

The first time I ever met Eckmo Fatu was more than 10 years ago in Bobby Doll's back yard. The young Samoan and his cousin Matt had stopped by for a friendly chat with other professional wrestlers and student trainees from our area and a bit of a workout as well in one of the only real wrestlings around at the time set up and good to go.

Over the subsequent years prior to his sudden meteoric rise to WWE fame, Eckmo wrestled for many of my favorite promotions. He appeared frequently in the XW-2000 shows that rivaled PWA and wowed audiences up and down our coast with his atheleticism and dedication to entertaining fans everywhere he went.

There were times when he and I were in the same venue, he to wrestle, I set up at a table doing my thing. He always made it a point to stop by and offer me a handshake or a word of acknowledgement. Truth be told, it wasn't just me. Eckmo enjoyed fans - he enjoyed people and he was never afraid to show it, whether slapping the hand of a kid, hugging a lady or making an old man feel more important than he actually was.

That was Eckmo - first and foremost, he was a great guy.

Then came WWE and fame and fortune and worldwide recognition. No one I can think of deserved the world-wide spotlight than the two earnest hard working Samoan youngsters from Pensacola. How proud it made me that my friends made it to "the show." Matt and Eckie, Rosie and Jamal (right) - so light they could bump a 90 year old woman, yet so devastating they could cut a swath through the toughest tag teams on the planet.

Then, they went away.

Matt stayed in the WWE as "Super Hero In Training" for a while. I never liked that gimmick personally. I felt that it diminished the talent and heritage Matt brought to the ring. But Vince gets his way and doesn't ask me for permission.

Eckmo, meantime, dropped off the wrestling radar for a while, only to re-emerge as Umaga - this incredible Samoan fighting machine. He burst back onto the WWE scene like a bulldozer in an egg factory. His gimmick and the style and charisma that went with it was just incredible. He was simply invincible. His meteoric rise was enough to get me back to WWE TV for a while and I enjoyed every moment of it all.

But "up" is 50% of "down."

Eckmo was injured on several occasions. Pro wrestling is not pillow making. It is a rough and tumble world where the slightest mistake can hospitalize you and big errors can kill you. Pro wrestling hurts. Big hurts or small, it is still pain and you can only suck up so much of it.

Eckmo was released from WWE, "for violation of the wellness policy" we, the public were told in typical WWE mumblespeak. He had reached the end of his WWE "push" and went home to Houston, where he had chosen to live and raise his family.

There were other gigs. Japan, I am told, where he performed spectacularly. Other places I know not much about because it was his life - his career and there was so much of it that only his closer friends could keep up.

Most recently, Eckmo, as Umaga toured Australia with Hogan and Flair. Great company to keep as a young wrestler and he deserving of peerdom with them. He was successful in that as with everything else he did. He was a good man and an inspiration to others in his profession.

At age 36, Eckmo died today. Rushed to a Houston area hospital, he had been sitting, watching TV in his house when his wife found him not breathing, bleeding from the nose and unresponsive. Shortly after that, relatives were notified, life support was disconnected and just like that a great soul departed.

From Bay City Blues in Pensacola, to the WWIWC arena in Mobile, to The XW-2000 shows at the Pensacola Fairgrounds and beyond, Eckmo entertained thousands - then at the WWE and beyond, millions. He was a man who always knew what he wanted and always lived life on his terms.

Eckmo Fatu was my friend.

I miss him very much.

Goodbye Eddie. You inspired me.